An English major wouldn’t sneer at you for wearing the wrong lipstick color or being a few pounds overweight. If you vomited in the middle of an important meeting, she wouldn’t judge you or tell her coworkers about it. She would just nod vacantly, wait a couple of days, and then email you a Frank O’Hara poem that reminded her of the incident.

How will this lead to big bucks and greater name recognition for the company? I don’t know. But if there’s anything I learned from my English classes—from Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen and Herman Melville—it’s that people don’t like mean people, and they usually end up getting ditched at balls or marrying jerks who stick them in attics or becoming a little too annoying to large animals.

So my English major did get me somewhere. It taught me not to be insufferable.

Ivy Grimes, from McSweenery’s “Open Letters to People or Entities Who are Unlikely to Respond” (via perspectiveacles)

Yeah.

(via consistentcontradiction)

Source: mcsweeneys.net

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